Book Review: Decker’s Wood by Kirsty Dallas

Decker
Title:Decker’s Wood
Author: Kirsty Dallas
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Rating: 4.5 stars

Synopsis

Decker Steele had it made…Penthouse apartment, VIP parties, girls on tap. You see, Decker Steele is the Pornography Associations award winning, money making machine. But what does a self-confessed, pussy pounding warrior do when his prized package begins to fail? Freak the ‘F’ out, that’s what!

Andi Jennings is the socially inept, geeky and awkward cousin of Decker’s best friend. Only she’s not so geeky and awkward anymore. Now she’s a smokin’ hot country bumpkin, with a smokey voice made for phone sex, and a pair of hot as hell cowboy boots. Everyone adores her, my porn star buddies, my mom and dad, my ‘equipment’.

So, the prized package isn’t so failing anymore, the catch is, it will only perform for Andi…My friend WITHOUT benefits.

What will the prince of porn do? The girl or the career?

Grace Review

If you know me, then you know I love porn. I have no shame.  So a romance featuring a porn star?  I’m on it like Madison Ivy on an 8 incher (you know you like porn if you get this).

This story is the perfect recipe for a romance book, in my opinion. I’m not sure why this is only the second one I’ve read featuring a porn star. The first reason this makes a perfect romance is that it centers on a guy, Decker Steele, who from a male perspective probably has a dream job. Banging hot women and getting paid for his cum shots. But I personally have always wondered how a guy (or girl) in that industry even has a REAL relationship. I’m thinking people join the dirty industry for money and/or they love sex. Maybe they relationships aren’t something they are interested in at the time, but they love sex, so why not? But as Decker begins to feel, how long can you prolong that emotional detachment? His dick of all things, makes the problem all the more real. His livelihood, his wood, has taken a timeout, with only a little blue pill helping it come out to play.

The second reason this makes a great romance storyline is answering the question, who would want to be with a former porn star? My thought would be that a porn star would likely only be able to have a relationship with someone from the industry. How could someone outside of the industry accept that not only does their significant other have more notches that their bedpost can fit, but that their body and exploits are forever captured on screen for anyone and everyone to see?

Both questions are answered in this book when a sexy country bumpkin hits the city that never sleeps. She’s a breath of fresh air and her presence alone brings Decker’s wood back to life, without medicinal aids.

This was such a fun read, particularly because of the two distinct POVs. Decker is cocky. How fitting. But he also has a vulnerability that makes him likable. His distress over his condition creating that vulnerability.

I had literally screwed myself into insanity. Well done, Decker Steele. So, my body wanted to reject sex? Okay, like any red blooded male, I could ignore the problem with the best of them. But how does one simply ignore their flaccid member? You can’t! Any guy will tell you, a problem with the junk is as good as the end of the world!

When called upon to pick up his friend’s cousin, Andrea (Andi) Jennings at the airport, things are looking up for Decker down below. WE HAVE LIFT OFF! It’s hilarious how Decker tries to come to terms with this development, knowing he really shouldn’t act on his desires.

I will warn you, since this bothers some, that Decker does test out his equipment with other women. He’s in the porn industry, remember, so this should be expected. But it becomes clear that Andi is only cure for his condition. Lucky for Decker, Andi has had a long standing crush on him. Unlucky for Decker, she wants to keep a “friends without benefits” status.

“It’s not a date, it’s fate,” she replied as she went straight into sorting boxes of books.
“What the hell is fate?”
“You know, a friendly date, a fate.”

This is not the first time Andi does a little word mashup, which is just part of her adorkable charm.

“Decker, you’re going to give yourself an aneurism over a damn kug.”
I settle down beside her but halted at the word kug. “What the hell is a kug?”
“You know, a kiss and a hug.”

See, adorkable.  I really loved her character.

The building storyline of whether their cross the “friends only” line and whether Andi can come to terms with Decker’s profession, draws you thru the story. The sexual tension ebbs and flows. One moment the heat grows between them, and the next the author has you laughing.

He was huge, like a heavy, hot piece of wood shoved right up against my picky pie!

And let’s not forget how Andi got vajazzled. You know . . .

“Sparkles for your whisker biscuit.”

*dead*

This story was fun and a perfect read if you are stuck in a book slump. I adored some of the secondary characters, particularly Casey and Lionel, Andi’s gay neighbors. And surprisingly, some of Decker’s porn friends were likable as well. I can’t wait for the next installment of this series. Bradley, Andi’s cousin and Decker’s friend, of all people is getting book two. Just knowing how this book ended, and then reading that synopsis, I will now commence my author stalking.

Until then, time to go watch some porn and go clam diving, polish the pearl, shell the bean. You get me.

– Grace

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