Blog Tour (Book Review, Excerpt & Giveaway): Floored by Melanie Harlow

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Title: Floored (Frenched Series Book #3)
Author: Melanie Harlow
Genre: NA, Contemporary Romance, Humor
Release Date: February 5, 2015
Rating: 4 stars

Synopsis
Erin Upton is too embarrassed to tell the cops what she was really doing while her townhouse was burglarized, especially since the first officer on the scene is former nuisance next door Charlie Dwyer. Where’s the justice in the world when a neighborhood know-it-all grows up to be six-foot-three inches of solid muscle with gorgeous green eyes and a slow, sexy please-arrest-me-now-officer smile? It’s bad enough she’s wearing her robe and slippers—did he have to notice her fuzzy hand cuffs on the bathroom sink?
He’s arrogant as he ever was, which is fine by her—she’s too busy with her dance studio’s grand opening to make time for a man. But they keep crossing paths, and
when Charlie offers to help her put in new flooring at the studio one night, things go from hammering nails to hammering each other in a hurry. And about those hand cuffs…
They agree it’s a one-time thing. But when that becomes a two-time thing, then a three-time thing, Erin starts to wonder if maybe she and Charlie could be a life-time thing. Her best friends Mia and Coco found love in unexpected places. Is it finally her turn?

Goodreads Link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23565716-floored

Preorder Links:
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Floored-Frenched-Book-Melanie-Harlow-ebook/dp/B00PSPFQK6/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1416351181&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=floored+melanie+farlow
iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/floored/id942099955?mt=11

Grace Review

This is a fun hate to love story, that will make you laugh and will make you horny.  Yes, both.  I’ll explain.

This story kicks off in a hilarious way, with some shower masturbation interrupted by a robbery.  You just can’t make this up. And in to save the day is Charlie.

Let’s do a quick review Charlie’s qualities.
*He’s a cop.
*He loves hockey and plays it for fun.
*He can dance.

Need I say more. I don’t think I need to . . . seriously, this is my kind of guy. Until he’s not my kind of guy.  Trouble is, he’s incredibly conceited and former bully to Erin. *record scratches*  Yup, no bueno.

At first I thought this was one of those stories about a boy liking a girl, but bullying her rather than treat her nicely.  BUT, I would be wrong.  Charlie just liked picking on Erin because he wanted to bring Miss Perfect off her pedestal.  Ouch!

Charlie is both hot and cold in this book.
So, the hot first?  OK!  As a cop, you can expect he’d be good with handcuffs, and he puts them to quick use with Erin when their passion ignites.  The scenes between these two are full of uncontrollable lust, with a bit of domination thrown in.  Which brings me to the cold.  Charlie’s bedside manner, in a word, SUCKS! He truly acts like a wham-bam-thank-you-mam type of guy. Yes, he lays out his intentions early on with Erin, but he gives her a lot of mixed signals throughout.  Not wanting to date, but then engaging in date like behavior.  But like a fine wine, he definitely improves as the book progresses.  Once the insta-lust is out of the way, you see glimpses that Charlie is not some jerk only interested in a good time.  He seems to be great around kids, which is a plus in any woman’s book.  It was clear to me that he was hiding something in the book and I’m not sure why Erin didn’t challenge him.  The secret wasn’t a shock, but how Erin handled it was.  She took the whole thing way to personally.  I get it, a little, especially when Charlie explains the situation.  Leaving Erin to look a bit heartless.  Maybe she’s not so perfect after all.

“You’ve never done one thing wrong in your life, Miss Perfecty Perfect Homecoming Queen with her clean floors and her ABC spice rack and her fake scented Christmas tree that doesn’t drop any needles.  We can’t all be as perfect as you are, you know.”

The idea of perfect is brought up often in this book.  As I mentioned, Erin is no doubt, a perfectionist.  Something that seemed to build from her childhood with a not-so-perfect father.  So how does Miss Perfect handle relationships?  Not too well.  Mia and Coco, who are prominent throughout this book, YAY, have Erin all figured out and challenge her to take a chance with Charlie, even with all the risks.  It’s nice to have two voices of reason!

Like the other books in this series, there is a great blend of lust, angst and humor.  Erin’s inner monologue, specifically with her scandalous thoughts about Charlie, is hilarious.

Dear God, I hope you’re not watching this but I’d really, really be grateful if I could get through this without gagging or choking, and also it would be great if this was the best blowjob he ever gets in his entire life.  Ok thanks, go away now.

And the sexual fantasy at the beginning of the book had me rolling . . .

His movie star skin is radiant in the flickering light.  So is mine, and not in the usual blanched, I-just-crawled-out-from-under-a-rock-pass-the-SPF-90 way, either.  In my fantasy, I am not pale . . . I am golden.  I am shimmering.  I am luminous.  But enough about me.

This being the third of the three girlfriends, would also mean it is the last book in the series.  You’ll be happy to know the author wraps up the whole series with a beautiful bow that won’t leave you wanting more.  Will I miss this group?  Absolutely!  I adored this series and crazy fun girls it featured.

– Grace

*An ARC was received for an honest review.

frenched
Title: Frenched (Frenched Series Book #1)
Author: Melanie Harlow
Genre: NA, Contemporary Romance, Humor

Synopsis
When Tucker Branch, playboy heir to Branch Bolt and Screw, screws and bolts a week before their wedding, Mia Devine wants nothing more than to crawl under her newly monogrammed sheets and plan a funeral for her dignity. But her friends convince her that bitter tastes better when it’s drowned in Bordeaux, so Mia grits her teeth and packs her bags, determined to make the best of her luxurious Paris honeymoon—alone.

She never planned on meeting Lucas Fournier.

The easygoing bartender’s scruffy good looks and less-than-sympathetic ear annoy her at first, but when she takes him up on his offer to show her around the city, she discovers that the romance of Paris isn’t just a myth.

Nor is the simultaneous O.

The last thing Mia needs is another doomed love affair, but since she only has a week, she figures she might as well enjoy la vie en O with Lucas while she can. But each day—and night—with Lucas is better than the last, and suddenly her heart is telling her this is more than a rebound fling.

Is it just the seduction of Paris…or could this be the real thing?

Goodreads Link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21474459-frenched?from_search=true

Buy Links:
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Frenched-Melanie-Harlow-ebook/dp/B00J1UOR68/ref=pd_sim_kstore_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=0R9TNGCBHBEHAP8NC5N3
B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/frenched-melanie-harlow/1118969486?ean=2940149599325
Kobo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/frenched
iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/frenched/id939047890?mt=11

Forked

Title: Forked (Frenched Series Book #2)
Author: Melanie Harlow
Genre: NA, Contemporary Romance, Humor
Release Day: October 20, 2014

Synopsis
Twenty-eight year old Coco Thomas knows the recipe for disaster:

1) Agree to plan last-minute engagement blowout for spoiled Mafia princess before you realize her choice of caterer is Nick Lupo, a despicably gorgeous young chef with a hot new restaurant in town, a reality TV show victory, and a romantic past with you—one that did not end well.

2) Strike a deal with Nick in which you agree to spend a weekend with him in exchange for his services, under the strict conditions there will be no talking about the past, no second chances, and definitely no sex.

3) Violate all three conditions within 24 hours and spend two glorious days remembering what made you fall for the sexy, egotistical bastard in the first place, and why it hurt so much when he broke your heart.

Add one road trip, plenty of good scotch, and endless spoonfuls of chocolate cake batter drizzled over your body and licked off inch by oh-my-God-yes-right-there inch, then just admit it.

You’re totally FORKED.
Goodreads Link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22605502-forked

Buy Links:
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Forked-Frenched-Book-Melanie-Harlow-ebook/dp/B00OQH1HLO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1414793840&sr=8-1&keywords=forked+melanie
B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forked-melanie-harlow/1120612027?ean=2940150524675
Kobo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/forked
iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/forked/id938902692?mt=11

Frenched Series Bundle: Frenched, Yanked & Forked
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Frenched-Bundle-Yanked-Forked-ebook/dp/B00PURHPYC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1416432346&sr=1-1&keywords=frenched+series+melanie+harlow

B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/frenched-series-bundle-melanie-harlow/1120793263?ean=2940150728646
iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/frenched-series-bundle/id941159215?mt=11

Excerpt

“Wait a minute.” I shoved Charlie in the chest, and even though it was like a ladybug trying to budge a giant sequoia, he was gentlemanly enough to take a step back. “No.”
His eyebrows raised. “No?”
I hopped off the island. “No. You said last night we were just going to be friends.” I struggled to breathe—it was like he’d knocked the wind out of me.
“We are friends.”
“Then what is this?” I gestured to the clothing on my kitchen floor.
“You don’t want this?”
“I didn’t say that.”
A pause. And since he wasn’t that much of a gentleman, I knew what I had to do.
I took off running.
He chased me through the dining room and front room to the bottom of the staircase, where he finally snared me with an arm around my waist. I did my best to try to scramble up the steps, but it was like spinning tires in the snow. Charlie easily overpowered me, subduing me with his strength, his will, his size. He spun me around to face him and set me down on the stairs, looming over me, one hand braced on a step above my head. I’d left one little light on in the front hall, a wall sconce that burned low, leaving half his face in shadow.
I glared up at him, breathing hard. Then I grabbed his head and pulled his lips to mine, thrusting my tongue into his mouth. My heart thumped with alternating beats of anger and arousal. How dare he show up like this? How dare he tell me he couldn’t stop thinking about me? How dare he chase me and throw me down like I was his plaything?
Confession: I loved it. Loved the antagonism between us, the hunt, the capture, the game.
Loved that the spark between us hadn’t died. In a twisted way, I even loved the contention in my own head, my conscience arguing with my id.
This is wrong.
Please. Can you not?
You need to stop.
No fucking way. This is happening.
Tell him to leave.
I can’t talk right now.
Tell him you don’t want this. You’re not like this.
But I do. I am.
He’s using you.
Fuck off. We’re using each other.
This isn’t one of your fantasies, Erin. It’s real.
That’s why it’s so good.
But someone will get hurt. It’s inevitable.
I let go of his head and opened my mouth, words of defiance on my tongue. He placed a hand on my breast, squeezing it hard, claiming it, daring me to refuse him. It felt so good, I hesitated.
Closed my eyes. Arched my back.
He put his finger over my lips, and I understood without being told, without even looking at him, what he was saying. Don’t speak. Just let me.
Oh God, I wanted to let him. I wanted to let myself. There were so many reasons to put a stop to this, and only one reason to keep going.
But it was a really, really good reason.

About

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Melanie Harlow likes her martinis dry, her lipstick red, and her history with the naughty bits left in. She lifts her glass to readers and writers from her home near Detroit, MI.

Website: http://www.melanieharlow.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorMelanieHarlow

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7095467.Melanie_Harlow?from_search=true
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MelanieHarlow2

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